BE MY VALENTINE

Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?

You've been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect Pear.

Now, something's sure to Turnip,
To prove you can't be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let's let our Tulips meet.

Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato's eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.

I'll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I'll work and share my Celery,
So be my Valentine.

14 DAYS OF VALENTINES
~ Author Unknown

On the first of February give your spouse or family member the following note: "Congratulations, you are the lucky recipient of the 14 days of Valentines."

Pick and choose from the list below. Perhaps it will spark your own creativity. You might want to go to a cake decorating specialty store. They have miniature items for just pennies. That might help you with even more ideas tailored to your families interest.

You are my dreamboat. (Toy boat - about 20 cents at a cake store.)

You are my "Big Hunk". (Big Hunk candy bar)

I have the hots for you. (Red hots)

I am "Twix" by your presence. (Twix candy bar)

You make me "Snicker". (Snicker candy bar)

You light up my life. (Candle or light bulb)

I'm nuts over you. (package of nuts)

You make the world go round. (Jumbo cookie, cake or pizza)

I'm lucky because you're my "Sweetheart" (SweeTarts candy)

I'm bubbly all over with love and excitement. (Acta Bath or any fizzing type bubble bath.)

I hope "U-No" how much I love you. (UNO cards)

By "Gum" you're special. (Gum)

If love has lost it's flavor and you feel you're in a "Crunch", just remember you are loved so very much. (Crunch candy bar)

You are worth a "Mint" to me. OR We were "Mint" to be together. (Mints)

I can't lick any of my problems without you. (Sucker)

You're "Eggsactly" what I want in a husband/wife. (Write this on a hardboiled egg or use an empty plastic Easter egg.)

I'm lucky to have you as a husband/wife/son/daughter. (Lucky Charms)

I'm a smart cookie to have chosen you as my husband/wife. (Cookie)

You're a "Cracker Jack" husband/wife/son/daughter. (Cracker Jacks)

You're the salt of the earth. (Salt)

I've gone bananas over you. (Bananas or banana chips if mailing.)

I love you a bunch. OR We love you. From: the whole bunch. (Grapes)

Thanks for putting snap, crackle and pop into our marriage/family. (Rice Krispie Treats or Crackle candy bar)

Thanks for putting your mark on our home. (Felt Tip Marker Pen)

You're worth a million. (play money)

You're worth more than $100,000 to me. ($100,000 candy bar)

You really rise to the occasion. (Helium balloon -write the message on the back.)

You're the icing on the cake. (Cake and icing)

We make a "Ding Dong" couple, but I love it. (Ding Dong)

Let's go on a date. (Dates)

I hit the nail on the head when I married you. (Nail)

My love for you snowballs. (Snowball cake with coconut)

Write a love note on a heart shaped paper. Then cut into puzzle pieces.

VALENTINE'S DAY THOUGHTS FOR COOKS

"The kitchen is the heart of the home"

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"

"Nothing is more beautiful that the sight of a woman preparing a meal for a
man she loves" (Thomas Wolfe)

"Promise her anything, but give her chocolate"

"nothing says lovin' like somethin' from the oven"

FAVORITE ROMANTIC FLICKS

An Affair to Remember
The Way We Were
While You Were Sleeping
Desperately Seeking Susan (for that one scene where Quinn looks at Arquette)
Pretty Woman
Casablanca
Sleepless In Seattle
You've Got Mail
Remains of the Day
Notting Hill
Strictly Ballroom
The English Patient
Chocolat

BOOKS FOR ROMANTICS

Romeo and Juliet
The Fountainhead (I only read the romantic parts)
Gone With The Wind
Sons and Lovers
The Virgin and the Gypsy (lots of romance)
Jane Eyre
Sense and Sensibility
The Love of the Game (after pitching 'the perfect game' a pitcher re-spins
his pitch)
Songs of Solomon (Old Testament)

SONGS FOR LOVERS

As Time Goes By
Time After Time
Where or When
They Can't Take That Away From Me
Someone to Watch Over Me
What Are You Doing The Rest of Your Life
Night and Day
Time In A Bottle
My Funny Valentine
Longer
I'll Remember You
The Way You Look Tonight
I'll Be Around
As The Days Go By
The Nearness of You
Misty
When October Goes (Manilow - a gem)
The People That You Never Get To Love
Nearsighted (Rupert Holmes)

SPECIAL VALENTINE WISH
(author unknown)

I'd like to hang a valentine
Upon the world's front door,
With hearts of love and peace entwined
To last forevermore.

With love to guide our daily path,
There'd be no one in need;
God's blessings would be shared by all
Of every race and creed.

Peace would come to all the world
As nations great and small
Would put aside their selfish aims
To work for the good of all.

If I could have my wish today,
I'd wish for nothing more
Than to hang a great big valentine
Upon our world's front door.

CUPID POOP

Put some of those little cinnamon, red hot, heart shaped candies in a little decorative basket or bag (or even a zip lock bag). Add a little scoop (you can get them at craft stores). Tie a red bow on the scoop handle. Then give your little gift to your sweet love with this poem attached:

I couldn't send you flowers, and candy wouldn't do.
And mushy cards just didn't say the things I want them to.
So I got you something special, and here's the inside scoop.
I found you something very rare - It's genuine Cupid poop!

Happy Valentines day!

A MAN'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING VALENTINE'S DAY
By Robert Kirby, The Salt Lake Tribune, February 10, 2000

HOW TO ROMANCE A WOMAN: Call her. Hug her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry and flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

If you are a man, chances are you have forgotten that Monday is Valentine's Day. Now that you know, this seems a good time to pause for a large hysterical fit.

The angst you are feeling right now stems from a complete lack of understanding about what makes a woman feel romantic. I don't know either, but I did look it up on the Internet.

Not counting about 5,000 Web sites that seem to correlate the word "romance" with "hot mamas," here's what I found out.

Conversely, if a woman wants to romance a man, she would only need to show up wearing anything remotely revealing, including a hazardous-material suit.

This may sound like an oversimplification of gender romance differences, but it isn't far from reality. It's always Valentine's Day for men, if you get my drift. Women need a special day.

Because it involves a woman's feelings, Valentine's Day is something of a mystery to men. So is the top of a box of Cheeze Doodles, but we'll save that for another column.

The following is a basic guide to Valentine's Day survival for men, which was faxed to me by the nice ladies down at "Romance Anonymous," formerly known as "Men Are Pigs But We Can't Kill Them."

STEP ONE: The minimum requirement is to let the woman know that you care. The least expensive way is to look at her -- preferably somewhere on her face -- and say, "I love you, [her name here]." If you forget her name, don't bother with the rest of the steps. You're dead.

STEP TWO: A Valentine card is an acceptable nonverbal token of appreciation. Best of all, it's cheap. Good Valentines are pink with lots of lace and have cute words such as "I'll love my sugar bunny forever and ever and ever and ... " Bad Valentine cards say, "Good for one free quart of motor oil."

STEP THREE: Candy. For some scientific reason that makes no sense, women regard chocolate the same way men view beer. While a handful of M&Ms is OK, women tend to expect something a bit nicer. Wrapped for starters. By the way, since the candy is supposed to be for her, she's going to notice any test bites. Stay out of it.

STEP FOUR: Jewelry. A bit pricier, especially if you didn't bother with steps 1-3. If you did, you might get by with a small but hideously expensive ring, necklace, or tiara. Keep in mind that most women, even in Utah, do not consider aluminium, tin or a Mylar balloon to be a precious metal.

STEP FIVE: Lingerie. Be careful. Few men are smart enough about women to figure out their underwear. Not only does it have to be the right size and caliber, it must also match any of the approximately 8 billion feelings she currently has about herself. To be safe, tell the clerk that you're looking for something that can't be used to strangle you in your sleep.

STEP SIX: Romantic getaways are good for couples with more than 0.002 kids. Studies prove that not even bacteria can reproduce when a toddler is beating on the bedroom door with a Fisher-Price toy. Depending on the size of your family, the romantic getaway may have to cross at least three international boundaries.

STEP SEVEN: Unlike men, women give points for trying. So do something. Anything is better than nothing. If you don't believe me, I can show you last year's knot on the back of my head.

Any problems with this page? 
Send the URL of this page & 
a description of the problem to webmaster.  
Thank you!